I’ve been having some trouble lately when it comes to relationships. I recently just broke up with Internet Explorer 6, and now I’m in the process of leaving Facebook.

I quit Facebook a few weeks ago, for a couple different reasons, mostly because I was curious what the effect would be on my social life or personal relationships with friends. Having been a Facebook user since its inception in 2004, I’ve invested a considerable amount of time uploading libraries of images and building vast lists of contacts and connections. I have sent out hundreds of event invitations and communicated thousands of wall posts and direct messages. So, as silly as this sounds, I didn’t take the deactivation of my account lightly.

Ok, so I guess I didn’t really quit Facebook. I deactivated my account. And through this process, I came to find out that deactivating is completely different from deleting, and much less permanent. I can reactivate my account anytime, and won’t lose any of my information, including contacts, pictures, and posts.

So why else did I deactivate?

I think it’s because I’d rather spend my time in the personal space of life, immersing myself in real relationships with real people, having real, meaningful conversations and interactions. I spend enough of my time behind a computer as it is. And honestly, I don’t care to share my life with half of my Facebook “friends.” I’m also getting tired of reading stories about people who rely on the application as their sole means of communication with the physical world. Like one story a few weeks back, about two girls trapped in a storm drain who updated their Facebook status (using their phones) instead of calling for help. Sure, these girls may only be 10 and 12 years old, but come on. Then again, I’m not so sure what they were doing in the storm drain in the first place. But there are appropriate means of communication and then there are very inappropriate means. Like recently, when a “friend” of mine posted about the passing of her father via a Facebook status update. As if that wasn’t enough, someone then commented on the status with a frowny face. Seriously.

Not a whole lot has changed in the past month. I feel just as “connected” as I did a month ago. Maybe I’m missing out on a few happenings and low-res photo albums, but that really is the least of my concerns. There are a few aspects of quitting Facebook that make it regrettable:

Messaging
Even on Facebook, a very low percentage of people actually publish their contact information like emails and phone numbers. Therefore, messaging on Facebook has always been a very efficient way to communicate. Keeping track of hundreds of email addresses is an almost impossible task to manage, especially when many are acquaintances. Facebook was my phonebook.

Pictures
The tagging integration and notifications process is arguably one of Facebook’s best features (depending on how photogenic you think you are, or how appropriate you think the picture is). Facebook makes sharing pictures and connecting them to an individual so simple.

Events
Organizing events has always been easier on Facebook because of the ability to send mass invitations and being able to see who’s attending and who’s not. Also, finding out about and browsing events in your area, with the ability to see which of your friends are attending, can always provide for entertainment during a slow week.

All of these reasons only make sense, though, if everyone you know is also on Facebook (which is probably the case).

There is one positive part of quitting, however, that outweighs all of these benefits, and that is face-to-face interaction and engagement with people. Before Facebook, I think we really were more connected because we were forced to engage with each other on a more personal level. I understand that Facebook simplifies the process of communication, but I think that is the underlying problem (that goes for email, texting, and instant messaging as well). Managing your contacts is a difficult task, and should require a computer for assistance. But managing your friends shouldn’t work the same way. So in the future, instead of just meeting someone and filing them away with your 500 other “friends,” maybe you should actually pick up the phone or meet for coffee and develop the relationship a little bit further. You never know where that will take you.

Ps. I’d watch out if I were you, Twitter. You could be next.